On our path to reaching our dreams, we may have some distractions: sometimes in the form of something pleasant, other times in the form of something terrible.
Sometimes the distractions come from the outside, the people around us, and the events of the world. At other times, they come from the inside, our thoughts and how we perceive reality.
Like everyone, I also get distracted when something unpredicted happens at work, in my private life, or when my physical energy is low.
Sometimes distractions are minor, but other times distractions can be like hurricanes with extremely painful effects. For many years I did not know that pain appears only when we are rigid and attached to results and did not know that it is possible to have a different option.
As an NLP Trainer, I now recognize emotions more quickly, and by using psychological techniques, I do not allow emotional pain to be the captain of my ship.
Here is a simple strategy that you can use when pain decides to drop by:
Step 1: The first thing to start with is acknowledging that pain is only a feeling, and each feeling comes with a message. Introspection helps, and with coaching questions like these, the whole emotional state changes:
– Did I feel something similar in the past? Did I die? How did I get over those experiences? What did I do exactly?
– What is the benefit of this?
– What other options do I have?
Step 2: Stay with your pain, this uncomfortable emotion, as much as possible, and do not run from it with other activities. Understand its message. Remember that people or events can not trigger something in us – only our interpretation can do that.
After you get over this phase, remember that every uncomfortable emotional state will go away: no matter how bad it is, it will be over.
Stay 3: After doing the internal work, consider what makes you happy and do pleasant things for yourself.
Why do most people expect others to do nice things for them, but they do not do the same for themselves?
I am curious, when was the last time you took care of yourself, bought something nice or maybe went to an elegant dinner? You alone, only to enjoy the food, the atmosphere, the music and the beautiful things you are entitled to do?
Step 4: Another way to cope with stressful situations and pain is routine: get used to feeling pain. It may be unpleasant, but it is normal.
How can you get used to pain? Well, start again with simple things.
– Postpone the rewards. For example, eat that tasty cake, that delicious ice cream 5 minutes later. Wait 5 minutes. And then eat it.
– Leave your phone away and make a rule to check your messages only five times daily.
– Take a cold shower each morning.
– Jump in the lake. When? Always!
Why do I say all this? Because I also suffered many years from pain, I was attached to some result or person and did not think other options existed.
After using some of these simple psychological methods, my resilience improved exponentially, and I got more energy to achieve my objectives.
I hope you can use this information to get through stressful times and remember: sadness and pain are normal, suffering is optional.