Can a simple word change your whole life?
100%, I’ll say yes. We can change the meaning of the message we want to express with a single word. Not to mention that the same message in a different tone or from another emotional state has a different meaning. That surprised me too back in 2017-2018 when I started studying NLP.
What was like a milestone to me was the understanding that we talk the same way we think.
If we speak vaguely, without details, that’s also how we think. No structure, no beginning, and no end.
And you know what’s more interesting? The results from our lives are like that too.
How much detail do you give when you think of something you want? How accurately do you know what it’s going to look like? How exactly and how you’ll feel?
To challenge you, I suggest you read the following story about four people called EVERYONE, SOMEONE, ANYONE, and NOBODY.
At one point, an important thing came up, and EVERYONE was sure that SOMEONE would do the thing.
ANYONE could have done it, but NOBODY did it.
SOMEONE got angry about it because it was something EVERYONE could do.
EVERYONE thought ANYONE could do it, but NOBODY realized that EVERYONE would refuse to do it.
And in the end, EVERYONE blamed SOMEONE, and NOBODY did what ANYONE could do.
How did it look to you? How do you think this short story applies to the real world?
Things get a little out of hand when there are situations like this with unclear wording. It is good that in NLP, a concept called Metamodel explains how people express themselves in detail. Because our mind always wants to use as little energy as possible, humans also subconsciously use this habit of sparing energy when communicating.
When we talk, we use generalizations, deletions, and distortions.
The advantage of NLP is that it sheds light on how we express ourselves, and by asking clarifying questions, situations like in the above story will rarely happen.
For example, when you hear someone use the following generalization: “Only negative things always happen to me.”
You can easily ask:
“Always? Has nothing good ever happened to you?”
Or something casual as: “I must clean the house.”
The right question is:
Do you really have to? What happens if you don’t? What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t?
Here I’ve given just two brief examples of how most people use words in a misguided, unproductive way.
The advantage is that with the help of NLP, such forms of expression can be understood by everyone with the purpose of eliminating these blurs in expression, to have the great relationships you want
There are so many ways a person can be wrongly understood. Why don’t you constructively use the language to always get what you want?
Do you remember the story above, with the unclarities? What kind of similar situation did you experience? Can you share it with me?