Self Love – The 7 Rules of Success

Can you keep a promise?

A few days ago, one of my friends shared this famous quote from Charles Kingsley (12 June 1819 – 23 January 1875), a renowned University professor and priest of the Church of England.

“Make it a rule and pray to God to help you keep it … never, if possible, to lie down at night without being able to say, I have made one human being at least a little wiser, a little happier, or a little better this day.”

It is a clear statement, and I liked it the first time I read it. Of course, I would like to add something.

May the first person who benefits from this self love treatment be you. You should be the person to whom this rule first applies.

I remember many times when I put other people or tasks first and left my own needs at the end. After some time, I noticed that I had no energy left, and the people around me didn’t even care for me. About respect? I almost forgot what that word was!

Of course! I was so tired and lonely! If I didn’t take care of myself, why should others?

The planner and fixer in me appeared, so I started thinking more in that direction and made a list of things I could do to improve my life.

I split my life into a few sectors and thought for each of them what I could improve:

  1. Self Love – Emotional: I learned how to handle stress and educated myself on emotional intelligence to understand compassion and forgiveness. Actually, only a few people know that emotions are the chemical reactions given to us by the brain by the perception of the environment, and their primary purpose is to keep us alive. Did you know that the emotions we have last only for 15 minutes? After that, unless they have triggered again, they tend to disappear. 
  2. Self Love – Social: I started working on my communication skills and setting healthy boundaries. I also looked for people with similar problems and just asked for help. Whatever situation we encounter, it is very unprobable that we will be the first to have lived it. Why try to reinvent the weel when we can use the solutions that are already availabale?
  3. Self Love – Spiritual: I started spending more time alone, meditating, and going more often in nature. At the end of the day, I filled out the things I was grateful for in a diary. These little habits greatly impacted me: I understood that relaxation and inner balance can be obtained without additional costs. Ultimately, we all look for peace, tranquility, and connection. Why search for connection outside when we are bad on the inside? Wouldn’t it be wiser to start the way around?
  4. Self Love – Physical: I did my best to sleep 8 hours each night, started to exercise a bit, removed junk food and processed sugar from my system, and rested when my body asked for it. Did you know walking around 10000 steps daily can improve the cardiorespiratory system, muscular strength, and body composition? When you this activity over time you will improve your optimal mental health by reducing stress and you will boost your overall mood. More about the habit of walking 10000 steps each day, you can read here.
  5. Self Love – Personal: I found some new hobbies, of which many of you already know mountaineering is a big part. Kung-Fu or dancing was also introduced to my weekly rituals. Why not combine masculine energy with feminine energy to have the complete package?
  6. Self Love – Financial: I paid more attention to the money I spent and started to ask myself before each purchase: Do I need that? Surprisingly, 50% of the things were just emotional needs. A list of the daily expenses, or at least the most important ones, can make a difference. Also, if you are in the mood to buy something valuable, wait a day or two to see if you really need it. In 90% of cases, the things we see are only passing desires.
  7. Self Love – Work: I started using time management methods and did my best to create a positive workspace for my colleagues and me. In the end, I managed to work more in less time. Isn’t that what we all want? More things done with less energy in a friendlier workspace?

Looking back, I am surprised at how much time has passed since I began the journey toward self love in 2015.

If you feel similar, try some of the methods I suggested, and I guarantee that many positive results will follow. Do it at your own pace, and be confident that you will gain more energy, friends, money, and time.

Do one, test it, and then try another one. If you start with all of them at once, you are likely to get overwhelmed and quit. 

Imagine life as a marathon. If you want to finish successfully, you need to start slow and train bit by bit.

Don’t believe me! Just go and test them!

You can always write or call in case you need support to build a proper strategy or to be sure that you achieve the desired results. Just give me a sign, and as an NLP and Systemic Coach I will do my best to support you.

And, as Charles Kingsley said, be sure that the first person who is a bit wiser, happier, or better at the end of the day is yourself.

If you’re interested in how the mind works, NLP neuro-linguistic programming, Coaching or communicationdrop me a line, and I’ll tell you more. Once per year, I start the NLP Practitioner course in english in Munich / München, where the participants learnover 9 moduleshow to increase their self-esteem and personal confidence, communicate to have great relationships and understand the connection between emotions and success. More about this course you can read here.

Additionally, if you want to read about my other project where you can practice self love in the mountains, you can do it here!